I was so excited to publish my first book.
I would be sharing a story with the world. A story no one else had ever written or ever read. I would be making my mark upon society forever. And it was going to be awesome.
Or so I thought.
To be honest, the book did pretty well. Better than I ever dreamed it would. But now people are starting to ask me questions about it, and two of the questions that have been recurring over and over again are,
“So, what’s it like to be a published author now?”
And,
“What’s your biggest takeaway from this whole experience?
Answer to question one: being a published author is not fulfilling. It doesn’t give me anything lasting, anything of eternal value. Sure, I may get some satisfaction and pleasure from it, but at the end of the day I’m not happier because I have a solid book in my hands.
And answer to question two: my biggest takeaway is that I hate the social side of being an author.
Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I’m a huge extrovert. But now that I’ve published a book…people I treat me differently. They treat me like I’m somebody, like I’ve achieved something.
And I hate it.
Because I haven’t achieved anything, not really. Okay, I wrote some words on paper, and got them printed, and people read them, and enjoyed them, and that’s great! That’s awesome! That’s a huge blessing for me, and I hope for the reader, too! Thank you for reading my words. Thank you for sacrificing time out of your busy life to read something I wrote. That’s so humbling. That’s so mind-blowing to me.
(And I’m not undermining the power of good stories here, I’m just trying to put them in literal perspective).
But when people treat me differently because of it, when I meet kids who are shy of talking to me because they loved my book…that’s the worst. Maybe some people enjoy that kind of attention, and I admit that to some degree it’s flattering, but it’s also just plain sad.
It’s difficult for me because I know what a twisted, messed-up, depraved human I really am, in dire need of God’s Grace every single moment of every single day. These people treating me like I’m different because I write pretend stuff are seeing a lie. I’m not that person. That’s just a shadow of me, the kind of person I wish I was. I’m just a normal kid who likes the things normal kids like and does the same things normal kids do.
I’m a kid, a Kansas Kid, who lives in on a cul-de-sac in a small town and loves Owl City, rainy days, and watching my little brothers play basketball.
I get so much more fulfillment from that. A deep part of me is satisfied when I exchange a joke with my brothers or have a fun time with my parents, or pick up a new book to read.
If you think you’re going to be happy when you achieve your end goal, you’re dead wrong.
Instead, it’s going to open up a lot more doors to a lot more questions.
It won’t make you happy. Not for very long. In fact, afterwards you might be less happy than before. Because you achieved what you were going for and…what’s next?
Figure out your priorities. Do a better job than I did. Find what gives you true joy.
It’s worth it.
Wise words
E. G. thanks for sharing this! <3